Many Lives Vol. 07 — WordsByEkta🌿
Many Lives
I dreamed I was on a stage. The lights were sharp, making my skin prickle. I opened my mouth, but the first word caught in my throat. My breath came too fast, each inhale scraping. I had been given the role I used to long for as a child — the chance to slip into another life, even for a moment.
But standing there, I froze. And as the dream held me in its unflinching light, I realized: I had only ever wanted to live many lives. I had never learned how to perform them.
For years, I thought acting was the vessel that would carry me toward that dream. I imagined myself moving from role to role like stepping stones, collecting other people's joys and sorrows, letting them leave their marks on me.
I chased security, approval, the choices that looked sensible on paper. I sat in fluorescent-lit offices where the hum of the air conditioner was louder than my own thoughts. I measured my days in emails answered and deadlines met. I learned to trade the expansive hunger of childhood dreams for the smaller, safer satisfactions of stability.
And yet, something remained — quiet, persistent. I noticed strangers. I imagined their lives. A woman at a railway station with a worn bag and a toddler clinging to her — was she running toward someone, or away? A man on a park bench arguing into his phone — what words had been left unsaid before this moment? My mind never settled for surfaces. I wanted the why behind the what.
I thought it was daydreaming. But it was, in truth, the beginning of writing.
When life finally slowed — in a season where the noise fell away — all the words I'd buried rose to the surface. At first they spilled out raw, without form. Then I began shaping them. And slowly, they became stories.
On the page, I was living many lives after all. I wasn't performing characters; I was creating them. A man who couldn't forgive himself for something he didn't do. A young woman who left home and never looked back. A child who believed the moon was following her bus home. I held their grief, felt their hunger, let their joy spill into mine.
The little girl who wanted to be an actor simply wanted to live many lives. The woman I am now writes them instead. Writing doesn't ask you to memorize someone else's lines. Even my quirks make sense now — replaying conversations in my head, reimagining outcomes, sorting memories like files in a cabinet only I understand. They weren't distractions. They were early signs.
The dream of acting didn't die. It changed form. Every writer needs to know where to find the thread.
I may never stand in the spotlight, but I will keep building worlds. I may never speak someone else's lines, but I will keep writing mine. And if I meet another version of that dream — on the page, in a story, in a life I haven't lived yet — I will have something new to offer.
A voice. A perspective. A truth.
✍️ Written by WordsByEkta🌿
🖋️ Emotional Storyteller | Writing what hearts never say aloud
💌 If you connected with my way of saying hard truths — often overlooked but deeply felt — explore one of my free letters:
wordsbyekta.gumroad.com
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